G3 M I S E R Y - Phonee Baloney

High Tech Heck


Bitten By The Blue-Tooth


Technology Escalation Aggravation


All these were contenders for the title of this post. The REASON for the post is unfortunate. On a perfect Saturday evening with a perfect bridal couple in a perfect setting the weak and failing link was the amplified sound system.
The DJ was absolutely expert and professional. The problem was not essentially of his making. He was a victim. So was I.
I was officiating the ceremony with a carefully crafted, unique ceremony. It had the structure and flavor of the traditional Book Of Common Prayer ceremony, but softened for the modern ear. It also had a couple of additions that personalized it for the couple.
I had rehearsed the words out loud and balanced the rhythm and even allowed for the fraction of a second of delay that you have from the microphone through the speakers.
Hey, I AM the old A/V guy from high school. I made the projectors, slide machines, amps and speakers work and can set up an auditorium and even a Moog and soundboard. If you are not afraid, ask me about the reasons to choose high and low impedance mikes and input devices. Go ahead, make my month.
Mixing is no big deal - but YESTERDAY. ACK!
The wedding guests and wedding party fell out of the pages of Vanity Fair and GQ. The entire procession was flawless and sweet.
The bride was presented and the bride and groom took their places in front of me and locked eyes, hands and hearts. All the audience was focused.
Then the speakers lost volume, I spoke louder ... then they boomed. I softened my voice. The speakers cut out. I looked toward the DJ. He was being professional and looked helplessly at his state-of-the-art blue-tooth equipment and offered prayers to the gods & demons of electronics for mercy.
They kind of answered the prayer with understanding if not immediate relief. 
Popping up in the audience were OTHER blue-tooth devices, some taking pictures and others recording movie clips.
When these cellular devices and cameras were ON, the signal between my mike and the amp were slain.
What to do?
The task at hand was simple. Ignore the distraction and focus only on the bride and groom.
The ceremony continued, people heard what they could and the marriage was solemnized.
The lesson?
Maybe the latest high-tech is not the BEST tech. And, if it going to be used, it has to be protected by warning people with potentially conflicting devices to keep them OFF. If pleading does not work - THREATEN and maybe let the ushers explain what an egression is after a transgression is committed.
You see, when BIG JOHN is the DJ he is working in OLD TECH and he and I can just whup up on any and all distractions that may arise.
The couple was still married, people understood and we all learned something.
Next time we will KNOW and on the couple's 75th wedding anniversary, they can talk about the good old days when blue-tooth was low tech. © Tim  www.timjohnsonphoto.com